Retirement is supposed to be one of those times of life that we eagerly look forward to. Having the free time to do what we want, when we want, is thought to be liberating and thoroughly enjoyable. But, for some, the transition from full-time working life to full-time leisurely living can be challenging, especially in the relationships of long-partnered couples.
In an age where the lines of what makes for a successful relationship have become increasingly blurred (and simultaneously more liberating), we’re seeing all manner of partnership combinations emerge that are just as valid as conventional models, no matter how different they may appear. And thank goodness for that, as anyone in an alternative partnership can joyously attest. However, despite this newfound freedom, these relationships can experience their share of challenges just like any other pairings.
When life doesn’t quite turn out as planned, it’s easy to become frustrated, cynical and embittered, falling into a trap of unrelenting wallowing and victimhood from which it’s difficult to escape. It’s disappointing, to be sure, when circumstances don’t pan out as hoped for. But what will staying in such a rut accomplish?
Contrary to popular belief, experiencing the breadth and power of the divine is not something necessarily limited to civil, sedate, well-mannered, rigidly choreographed rituals conducted in ornate indoor settings by individuals decked out in costumes not unlike what one would find in a Las Vegas floor show. Rather, in its purest state, it’s more of a wild, untamed force that unleashes its raw, unrestrained energy in potent, unexpected ways that often leave witnesses awestruck as to its sheer magnitude and expression, particularly in natural surroundings. It’s not exactly what most of us were taught in Sunday school or what we heard in sermons from the pulpit.
Living one’s life in two disparate worlds can be quite a challenge, perhaps even perpetually confusing to some making the attempt. Having one foot firmly planted in one existence and the other ensconced in another means always having to be “on” and aware of which reality one is in at any given time. That can be particularly demanding if the differences between them are significant, especially if one of them involves harboring and maintaining a potentially volatile secret. But, with practice and a dedicated commitment to keeping up appearances, it’s entirely possible to pull off such a feat.
Stepping up to the forefront to establish oneself as a readily identifiable quantity can be a daunting prospect. There may be a temptation to hold back, buying into the notion that there’s safety in numbers. But will such a cautious approach get us noticed or, more importantly, leave us feeling fulfilled?
We all have dreams, and we’d like to see them realized. However, many of us believe they’re unreachable objectives, pie-in-the-sky goals that can be envisioned but never experienced. But must that be the case? Is there no chance of them ever being materialized?
Standing out often means standing alone, especially for proponents of particular causes. Individuals who embrace this stance frequently must engage in striking, sometimes-outlandish behavior that gets them noticed in order to get their initiatives noticed. But having to go to such lengths can be exasperating, frustrating and even legally challenging.
Imagine having something to say, but no one is able to understand you. With no active dialogue or meaningful feedback involved, the “conversation” soon turns one-sided. And, if no responses are forthcoming any time soon, loneliness and sadness are bound to set in. The feeling of isolation this creates could easily become overwhelming. It’s a truly disheartening situation. But, in this case, this scenario isn’t describing something that one of us is experiencing; it’s an account of what might very well be happening to one of our fellows in the animal kingdom,
Blissful ignorance may pacify us when the truth seems to be too painful to face. But is it a suitable solution for the long term? When we see what we’re missing out on, can we realistically keep up a front pretending that what’s absent from our lives isn’t all that important?
